I struggle to not play the I’m-a-musician-and-you’re-not card.

But I’ll be honest. I don’t think any of the Idol women are worth a damn. There is not one great voice in the bunch, not even the Irish chick (Carly Smithson) upon whom MCA dumped $2.5 million.

Asia’h Epperson, who I like generally, made a costly mistake tonight in singing Eric Carmen’s “All By Myself.”

First, people: Quit calling this Celine’s record. Eric Carmen took it to No. 1, but only after he adapted it from the music of Sergei Rachmaninoff. This is a classic, classic song, derived from a classical piece, and for it to be tainted by the supremely overrated Celine Dion is a shame.

Secondly, people: This song should be retired from Idol history because only one person has done it justice, LaToya London. Not only did she do it justice, she did it better than anybody has ever done it, including Carmen, the hitmaker.

To me, that’s the difference in Idol four years ago and today. The vocal talent just isn’t there today. Season 3 was the real deal. That Jennifer Hudson and London were in the same Top 12 emphasizes how good that season was, and while I preferred Hudson, LaToya was the best singer consistently all season.

Sigh. That’s the way this show goes, but I grow more and more frustrated each week and each season with the degradation in talent. While I know Randy Jackson is a “musician” and Paula Abdul is a “singer,” for the life of me, I can’t figure out how Simon Cowell, the businessman, ended up with the best ear of the three.

I’m being facetious in all but one way. Simon absolutely has the best ear among the judges. Sure, it’s subjective. However, when listening to the dudes last night, it’s clear who the best singer is, by a mile, bar none: David Archuleta. I couldn’t give a deuce less if he wins. I’m not picking up a phone for him. I am telling you, having been an active musician for 30-some-odd years that he has the best pipes of the bunch.

Take that for what it’s worth. Damn, I played that musician card.

I would also say that Chikezie, Robbie Carrico and David Hernandez have potential, adding that Danny Noriega, to me, is a super sleeper. With some work, I think he could be phenomenal. But aside from that observation, musically, it will not only be hard for them to keep up with Archuleta, it will be tougher for them to live up to the history of this show.

There has been only a handful of great male singers on this show, one of which is Clay Aiken, who I can’t stand to listen to, personally, but who I acknowledge has a terrific vocal instrument. Chris Daughtry is another, and he’s Idol’s first legitimate rock star. To be fair, Bo Bice’s voice is actually very solid, too, even though he’s had not nearly the amount of success he had hoped for.

Personally, for me, I’ve always thought Elliott Yamin is the best male singer the show has produced.

But every other guy in every other season of Idol has been average to below average vocally. I mean to the point of downright bad.

Yet the real comparative history all Idol contestants have to battle is that set by the show’s female contestants. And from Kelly Clarkson to Carrie Underwood, to LaToya London and the great Jennifer Hudson, if you can’t do it like they do it, it’s not really even worth discussing.

Archuleta is in the conversation as of now.

But there simply isn’t one female in this bunch even worth whispering about at this point. So, do you want to know who was the best of the bunch tonight?

None of them. Same as last week.

Or perhaps it should be LaToya London, brought back from the Idol dead to do “All By Myself” one more time in hopes of shaming any and all future contestants from even considering it.

The kid is David Archuleta, and after Tuesday night’s rendition of John Lennon’s “Imagine,” I suspect all those who shrugged when I issued those sentiments will understand why I think he’s the favorite to win Idol Season 7.

In fact, I think his performance was not only the first “moment” of the season, I think it was comparable to Carrie Underwood’s “Alone” performance in Season 4, the one in which Simon Cowell proclaimed that she would win the title and sell more records than any other Idol in history. It’s probably more accurate, spatially, to compare it to LaToya London singing “All By Myself” in Season 3.

Here’s the deal with “the kid” though. Not only do I think David Archuleta wins American Idol, I think he becomes the show’s first legitimate male pop star.

He’ll do Broadway. He’ll have a legitimate hit record on mainstream radio. He’ll be on TV. He is essentially a perfect pop star, and here’s why I think this competition is o-v-e-r.

1. He will dominate the tween and teen vote. Tweens and teens will vote a billion times for him. One look at DialIdol.com tonight, and I saw that David had a 30 share while second place had like a 7. Unless somebody from the girls’ side of things picks it up and fast, David is going to build up an insurmountable edge in teenybopper girls.

2. He will win the grandmama vote. Grandmamas like good voices, good personalities and clean-cut kids. The Kid’s got it all in that regard.

3. He will at least partially pick up the musician vote. Yes, Jason Castro can play a guitar, although it’s unfortunate he’s yet been able to tune it. And, yes, David Cook can play the chords from Free’s “All Right Now.”

However, Idol is still a how to become a singer’s competition, and David Archuleta is far and away the best male singer. Based on all that I’ve heard, he’s far and away the one singer I’d pick to work with, to record a demo for me, etc.

What’s scary is that it’s early.

Fact is, the reason Archuleta didn’t sing the first verse to “Imagine” is because it referenced the notion that there is no heaven and hell. David’s family is uber-religious, and that doesn’t bug me one iota, nor does it sway me toward his camp relative to the show.

However, the way he handled the question from the judges was brilliant, focusing on the positive instead of making it a point to preach to 33 million people, which would have been an enormous turn off to voters. So, if I could add a No. 4 to my list, I’d note that David’s obviously a savvy kid. He’s been in this parade before.

Now, if I didn’t review everyone else this week, it’s because THE story when you wake up tomorrow will center on Archuleta. And what could make him all the more of a phenomenon this year is that it’s not only becoming clear that he’s the most talented of this season’s Idol crop, but he still looks like an underdog. At his stature, he’ll always look like an underdog.

But with that voice, I assure you, he will be crowned Idol champ come May.

That’s what Simon Cowell told David Archuleta on Tuesday, minutes before he said the same things to Jason Castro and Aussie expatriate Michael Johns.

So, that would be the American Idol Top 3 from boys’ night, right?

Think again. And this year, it’s not just me judging the talent. My sainted mother has tagged along, and it’s for a reason.

Those of you who have watched the show like we have since Idol’s inception understand the differences in the show’s demographics. The heavy voters are teenage girls, but their voting preferences have historically mimicked those of adult women — the grandmas, if you will.

Well, the sainted nameless above-reproach mother also happens to be a grandmother, although not from any contribution of mine that we know of … yet. Give me red wine, some pills and a willing participant, and I’m betting I can make it happen.

However, for me, the amorous mood wouldn’t have a thing to do with anything I saw tonight. Tuesday’s male performances were much younger overall than in previous years, much more theatrical and less relevant than ever.

Nevertheless, David Archuleta stands out like a sore thumb, but in a good way. Vocally, there’s nobody on par with him yet, even though his voice cracked Peter Brady style in the middle of “Shop Around.”

Stylistically, I liked Johns and Castro well enough, but Johns was extremely pitchy and dull on The Doors’ “Light My Fire,” and Castro’s terrible guitar work killed any thought I had of giving his Lovin’ Spoonful tribute a thumbs-up.

Lesson No. 1 when playing an instrument live: Tune it!

Love what Mom said about Castro: “Performance was OK as was the song but he needs a haircut.” Don’t think for a second that teenage girls aren’t thinking the same thing. When it comes to a yum sandwich, who are these teen (better yet, tween) girls going to dial digits for — Rasta Castro? or Davey Archuleta.

Not a contest there, podnah. Mom said of Archuleta, “Good voice. Good performance, but I didn’t like the song.”

It’s an astute point because voters base a lot of their opinions on these songs, and The Miracles’ 1960 legendary hit is not likely on any iPods or Facebook pages. On the other hand, as a lover of all things Smokey Robinson, I thought the song was a smart choice musically.

The most disagreement between myself and my parental unit, the two disparate voters we are, centered on Chikezie Eze. His version of Spiral Starecase’s “More Today Than Yesterday,” I thought, was tantamount to at least manslaughter.

Mom liked it. Well, she at least liked the voice behind the song.

As for the suit, we both agreed with Simon. It looked hideous, dude.

We also disagree heavily on Danny Noriega, who I am convinced will eventually take the stage in a dress. I kid. See, I’m on his side. Think he’s a true-blue talent. Terrific voice. Interesting personality, and he has this David Bowie feminine vibe going.

But Mom thinks he’s a goner. I don’t, although I also didn’t think his version of “Jailhouse Rock” was the best ever.

On the other hand, we both agreed on Robbie Carrico in that his performance of Three Dog Night’s “One” was solid. Good voice, and he looks and sounds like a pro. Like Simon, I do not buy the rocker vibe one bit.

He’s too clean, and we already know his history with Boyz-n-Girls United. Plus, sorry, but his voice is actually too polished for rock. Carrico is closer to the cast of RENT than he is the next Daughtry album.

But I say this is a good thing. There is no doubt in my mind that Season 7’s group of male contestants is by a mile the most feminine the show has ever had. Most of these males are mere boys, and artistically, they are much closer to future Broadway stars than pop sensations.

Vive le difference!

Mom’s Top 5 performances came from: 1) Michael Johns, 2) David Archuleta, 3) Robbie Carrico, 4) Chikezie, 5) Jason Castro.

And mine were: 1) The boy wonder. The kid. David Archuleta. 2) Robbie Carrico. 3) Danny Noriega. Personally, I think he’s the first Idol contestant who could stand a chance of winning the competition by being MORE Broadway.

That’s all I can rank. I honestly hated the rest of them.

Mom thinks Luke Menard and Noriega will get booted right off, and I say it’s Menard and Jason Yeager, whose version of Moon River wasn’t actually all that bad. Great song, too.

That’s a wrap for the dudes, which gives me just enough time to erase everything from my Idol memory banks in time for Wednesday’s performances from our Top 12 women.

Let the games begin.

Instead of recapping tonight’s show, which I don’t need to do because you’re all loyal watchers, I’m going to give you 10 singers who can win the whole thing. In fact, I am pretty sure that one of these 10 will earn the curse that is American Idol.

I kid. Who wouldn’t want to win this? This is the pop culture Super Bowl, and what’s fascinating about this year’s bunch is that it’s a weird looking lot, but they’re all really good.

Take David Archuleta (No. 1), about whom I’ve written a number of times. He’s a 16-year-old tiny li’l Mormon boy who sings like an Osmond. He can play the piano, and he’s overcome vocal paralysis.

And, he’s already mastered Star Search as a 12-year-old. That is a major advantage.

Archuleta is by far the best 16-year-old the show has produced. He is not a future Daughtry or a future singer-songwriter, but he is absolutely a future professional vocalist in some realm. The teen girls will eat him alive, and I suspect despite the heap of abuse he’ll get from haters that this season is Archuleta’s to lose.

I know many of you will disagree with me, but he has all the ingredients for a long-term run. First, he is actually good; it’s not a fluke. However, he’s not too good, like a Melinda Doolittle. Second, he’s absolutely appealing to both the young girls and the grandmamas. Third, he’s undeniably likeable.

A sure bet for the Top 12 is San Diego’s Carly Smithson (No. 2). An American by way of Ireland, Carly probably has the most commercial voice of all the contestants. It’s edgy, even if she really isn’t. She looks like a rebel but has the soul of a girly-girl.

I think she’s the contestant most likely to be eliminated in that No. 4 or No. 3 spot, the ones where Chris Daughtry, Tamyra Gray and Doolittle went down. She can win it, absolutely, and might even be the favorite at various points throughout the season.

Australian Michael Johns (No. 3), 29, is one part Mel Gibson and the other part sane (that would be the non-Mel Gibson part). Kidding. He’s got a very good voice, and will be the favorite of many women in a Taylor Hicks sort of way because he’s got model looks but very dorky movements.

He absolutely could win this, and I think he’s a shoo-in for the Top 12.

Just go ahead and count out Danny Noriega (No. 4), the extremely effeminate California teen with a voice that absolutely doesn’t match his physique. If Archuleta sounds like a future Osmond, Noriega sounds like a future Sam Harris, and he was the original made-for-TV talent show winner.

Ain’t nothing wrong with a future on Broadway, kid.

For me, Asia’h Epperson (No.5) is the one breath of soulful fresh air we have in this competition. Take me very literally when I say that Asia’h’s rendition of Mary J. Blige’s “I’m Goin’ Down” had just the right amount of street in it. Not only does she have a great voice, she has an edge — an edge I seem to recall Fantasia Barrino had.

Yes, we know that her father died one day before her initial audition. But she doesn’t need the storyline. Asia’h is a for-sure Top 12 Idol contestant, and a real shot to win.

Those are my Top 5 for Season 7 thus far. However, there are five others who, for any number of reasons, could win this bugger. In no random order, they are: Kristy Lee Cook, Robbie Carrico, Kady Malloy, Syesha Mercado and Jason Castro.

Over the next seven days, I’ll profile most of the Top 24 on american-idol-blog.com, so check us out over there.

I know. What a novel idea.

However, as a pianist of 34 years, it’s easier said than done, and I’m actually pretty damned good at it. On Tuesday night, Idol musicians made some classic mistakes, and I thought it would be a terrific opportunity to outline, specifically, how to be the best accompanist possible. Well, at least on the piano.

1. Don’t overshadow the primary instrument, whether it be a vocal or a trumpet. What you play should be virtually invisible but just enough to provide the perfect landscape for the vocalist.

2. Don’t stray from the basics. One Idol contestant laid down some decent but sophomoric piano licks during a Billy Joel song, and Simon Cowell called him out on it.

Here’s the God’s honest truth. Unless you’re a jazz or classical great, there is somebody better than you on the piano. If the point is to enhance vocals with instrumentation, then leave the runs at home. You’ll look like an idiot.

3. Make sure you can actually play. This is going to come off as terribly cocky, so please forgive me, but I can actually play. Well, in fact. Most of these Idol kids could merely form chords, except for Brooke White, who did a darned nice job on Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful”.

There is an art to playing in some semblance of an arrangement while a vocalist sings. One cannot merely play competent chords and notes. It has to sound right, complementary if you will, to the primary instrument.

Apparently, 7-year-old David Archuleta can play pretty well, as Simon complimented him heartily on everything tonight. While I kid about Archuleta’s age, he does look like he’s all of 10. But here’s the thing: He can really, really, really — you can’t deny him — sing. In fact, I am pretty sure he’s the best young male singer the show has ever had.

However, with that said, he’s going to face a mountain of abuse once he gets to the Final 12. And, believe me, that’s where he’s headed. He’s got that Kevin Covais, Sanjaya, John Stevens young kid vibe going for him. And, we live in a brutal world, well, in terms of criticism and people who have no other intention but to poke fun.

But I digress.

Probably the most important part about being an instrumentalist for somebody else singing is in leading them through the song and helping them to mask mistakes. Not that we pianists never err, but our job is to make the vocalist shine.

If he or she misses a verse, play an extra measure and lead them into it.

If he or she changes chords on the fly, you had better be ready to do so.

If he or she passes out on stage from drinking too much 40-year-old Scotch, you the pianist had best be ready to play awhile or at least call a cab.

This stuff is not rocket science, and most of you musicians will think this entire discussion is patronizing. However, very few young musicians know even how to accompany themselves, and Tuesday night’s episode of Idol underscored it.

As far as the Top 24 and who will get picked, here’s what I would say: David Archuleta, Carly Smithson, Michael Johns, Danny Noriega and Asia’h Epperson were really, really good.

If they’re not all in the Top 24, I’ll be stunned.

Given that we’ve had a few weeks to ruminate over this season’s crop of singers, I’d also say that my pre-Top 24 favorites to go all the way, believe it or not, include the young Archuleta and the tattooed Smithson.

What’s amazing to me is that Smithson (nee Hennessy) was such a bomb at MCA back in 2001, losing like $2.2M for the company and selling only 3 CDs (or something equally as ridiculous). She can flat out sing. She’s got a unique look and what seems to be an incredibly grounded personality.

If you’re a musician and have anything else to add to my list, feel free to comment below or post your own blog entry and link to this one. Ciao.

However, we’ve made it past the auditions to one of the most fun parts of the season: The Hollywood Round. Before we get there, a few notes.

First, I heard a number of good voices on Tuesday and Wednesday of this week. Unfortunately, Cardin McKinney was not as good as hoped. In her defense, her recorded work was way better than the first impression, and that should bode well for her.

Danny Noriega and his over-the-top performance of “Proud Mary” was a surprise, although he’ll have to battle David Archuleta for this season’s role of Sanjaya/John Stevens/Kevin Covais.

And there were usual pop songstresses and sap stories, but we were also introduced to, perhaps, a legitimate female rocker. Amanda Overmyer has been tabbed by some of the rock-n-roll nurse, and while her rendition of “Mean Woman” was labeled a “put on” by Simon, her subsequent take of “Travelin’ Band” was deemed excellent.

Paula referred to the 22-year-old Indiana native as the female Chris Daughtry, which I thought was a terribly poor comparison. Sure, she’s rock and roll. Sure, he’s rock and roll. But their styles are so different, and I’m still not convinced Amanda is the real deal.

But I’m really, really hoping.

Let’s just put it this way. When compared to the greatness (and I do mean greatness) of Dilana from CBS’ Rock Star, this Overmyer kid doesn’t have much except potential.

Alas, we have a long way to go.

Talking with a colleague today, he noted that the promos for Hollywood week had him stoked. It’s the instruments, people. Get good singers practicing their craft on instruments, and it lends Idol a ton more credibility.

While Brooke White’s initial audition did little for me, her rendition of a Carole King tune (which tickling the proverbial ivories) has me thinking she’s an early favorite.

Look, I’ll be the first to tell you that Season 7’s auditions were pretty ho-hum. However, in the back of my mind, I’m thinking we might be in for a banner year, and that last clip underscored the potential next week holds.

I get bored easily. So, forgive me if I spare you the details of all the crappy performances.

Well, except for that crazy dude at the beginning. Chris Burnheisel kicked off Tuesday’s Omaha auditions episode with a terrible, over-the-top performance and then decided he’d rather be a red-carpet reporter for his local FOX affiliate, thanks to Simon’s encouragement.

Believe it or not, Omaha is a super cool, hip little midwestern town. Seriously. It’s like Santa Fe of the Midwest, but instead of a southwestern landscape of art houses and coffee shops, Omaha is kind of the indie-music capital of the heartland.

But for whatever reason, no Nebraskans impressed me. Now, it didn’t mean that none of the Omaha auditioners caught my ear. Three did. However, not a one of them was from Omaha.

Samantha Sidley, 22, from Los Angeles, waltzed in and sang Norah Jones’ “Don’t Know Why,” as Ryan Seacrest took over as a judge while Paula interviewed contestants — thereby stealing all of Sam’s thunder.

Let me paint the picture. Do you remember Brenda Vaccaro from the 1970s? The young version. Sidley looks like her a ton, but her voice was sultry jazz. While Seacrest bemoaned her performance charisma while pretending to be a judge, the real judges sent her to Hollywood.

And, then I learned a ton more about our fair Samantha.

First, she’s a student at Berklee — the greatest music school in America. Bar none. You go to Berklee; you’re good.

Second, she’s a legitimate New York cabaret singer, having performed at New York’s Algonquin Hotel.

Third, she has opened up for the Manhattan Transfer.

Do you smell a ringer? Look, the whole smooth, smoky jazz thing won’t go very far on Idol. It will bore the teenyboppers to death, but I’m afraid Samantha might have a stalker on her hands because I found her MySpace page (just go to samanthasidley.com, and the URL will resolve to MySpace), and she sings the standards well beyond her 22 years.

Tulsa’s own David Cook entered the big room with a big task — to sing Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ On A Prayer.” And he did it in a way that matched his indie-pop look. It was kind of brooding, sort of emo.

He was an easy ticket to Hollywood, and potentially is another in a long line of Oklahomans to fare well on Idol. First was George Huff (OU student). Second was Carrie Underwood from Checotah now of superstardom. Third was Melinda Doolittle (Tulsa Union HS). Fourth could be Mr. Cook of the multi-colored hair.

Finally, Leo Marlowe explained to Simon that his mother had raised a perfect homecoming queen but that “too bad it wasn’t one of her daughters.”

While the Iowan probably didn’t need to explain that he was gay right off the bat (like they always say … “we knew”), we did wonder whether the boy could sing.

Marlowe tackled Donny Hathaway’s “Song For You,” and I always say that if you can sing Donny, it ain’t no lie. You can sing, and he could.

What struck me about these three singers in particular was how likeable they were. It’s hard to say how far these singers will go in this competition — although I think they’ll all bear a close watch over the next few weeks — but dare I say that I’d have a hard time rooting against a one of them.

Collectively, that trio could be among my personal favorites of the entire season.

Over the years, I’ve found that Google searches on a contestant’s name, in quotes, with the word “Idol” next to it (not in quotes) will provide a fair look at his or her standing in the public eye.

This is for good or for bad. For example, the most infamous of our contestants yet in Season 7 is probably Milo Turk, the “No Sex Allowed” guy.

Brilliant song, by the way. I am totally going to learn the words and play it on a video here. Some day.

Google says Turk has 72,800 pages associated with his name and the term “Idol” on the Web. That is vastly more than Colton Swon (8,740 pages), Chris Watson (7,970 pages), Michael Johns (6,910 pages), Joey Catalano (3,210 pages), Tetian Ostapowych (2,640 pages), Samantha Musa (2,430 pages), Pia Easley (1,930 pages) and London Weidberg (1,300 pages).

On the other hand, there are a handful of singers I’ve found so far with more than 10,000 pages associated with them already on Google. For example, boy wonder David Archuleta — whose fan group is already named (Arch Angels) — has 11,000 pages available from Google associated with his Idol efforts.

Much of the time, these represent news stories or blog posts, fan boards or self-promotional sites. Nevertheless, one’s depth on Google is one way to measure a contestant’s buzz.

Brooke White has managed 19,000 pages associated with her Idol dream.

But from here, the numbers rise significantly.

Carly Smithson and Carly Hennessy (same person) produce about 39,500 pages from a Google search associated with Idol. A search for Houston’s Kady Malloy produces about 41,700 pages.

On the other hand, Alabama’s Cardin McKinney has 41,900 Idol pages associated with her name, and she hasn’t been shown on TV yet. That’s some serious buzz.

However, nobody even comes close to Kristy Lee Cook on the Google-o-meter. A search on her name, in quotes (which means one is searching exclusively for that string, in full), plus the term “Idol”, netted more than 550,000 pages.

To be fair, the Week 1 crew has a leg up on the Week 2 singers. It doesn’t explain Cardin’s Google strength so far, but perhaps she’ll blow up as big as Kristy Lee Cook.

Truth is, this might not mean a hill of beans, but let’s keep an eye on this for the season to see if any trends come out of it.

Last week’s bunch was certainly talented, but it’s hard to say where singers like Pia Easley and Chris Watson will end up. Will they even make the Top 24?

I’m still fairly confident about Colton Swon and Kristy Lee Cook, although I’d say that instinct tells me Colton is a sure-fire Top 12er. This week, I am certain we have seen THREE Top 12 singers.

OK, here’s my Top 5 American Idol performances of the week:

No. 5: Tetiana Ostapowych:

First, she is smoking, smoking, smoking hot. The boots. Yikes. But what’s creepy, like I noted in a previous post, is that she talks like Martha Stewart. It’s un-freakin’-canny.

I do think Tetiana and other contestants will clash in Hollywood. But I love a good catfight.

No. 4: Samantha Musa:

Musa bears a strong resemblance to Katharine McPhee both in terms of speaking and singing voice, and in terms of personality. Bubbly. Cute. The potential for a spot in the Top 24 is there.

No. 3: David Archuleta:

OK, I’ll say it right now. David will be the whipping boy of Season 7, and it’s kind of sad because he won’t deserve it. First, I think he should have waited until he was 20 to try out so he wouldn’t be pigeonholed. Second, he can sing, and if he chooses great songs throughout the competition, he’ll win half the battle right there.

Well, he picked one of the best songs of the decade in John Mayer’s “Waiting On The World To Change,” but my concern is that it sounds a bit like David struggles for air. Like he’s developing emphysema. Perhaps he was just hoarse, but write this down.

David Archuleta will be in the Top 12. He’ll also be hard to root against.

No. 2: Carly Smithson:

I’ll be perfectly honest and admit a misgiving: Carly should be No. 1 on this list.

She carries everything Idol is looking for, or I should say ‘everything that Idol needs right now’ … she has an edge. She has a rock appeal and a soul thing happening.

However, she also carries major baggage with the whole MCA Records fiasco in 2001. I’m apt to cut her a break, and although I didn’t love her performance, I could hear some major potential, particularly in terms of a singer would could have both an edge and some real soul.

By the way, wouldn’t it have been wonderful if Dilana from Rock Star could have done Idol? Would have done it? Frankly, it’s what the show needs, and I hope Carly is more rock than pop. Anyway, she is a sure-fire Top 12er.

No. 1: Michael Johns:

Prepare yourselves, America, for one half of the Season 7 finale because I have a hankering to make the call right now. I think 28-year-old native Australian Michael Johns is star bound.

His voice is white-boy soul, and his performance of this Otis Redding tune was spot-on … but most of all, Johns will have a huge female following, and it will serve him well. I would be stunned beyond belief if he weren’t in the Top 12.

Three more stops on the Idol audition tour, and then it’s off to Hollywood. Be sure to leave your thoughts on these auditions down below, or make your own predictions as to who you think has a sure spot in the Top 24.

Wednesday night’s fourth episode of the seventh season of Idol — gulp — was by far the show’s most entertaining this year. And I don’t even know whether we heard a lick of talent.

I do know that Raysharde Henderson, of Atlanta, thinks he sounds like Clay Aiken from Season 2. What’s weird is that he looks like a cross between Nipsy Russell and Michael from Good Times.

DeAnna Prevatte hails from the town that brought us Kellie Pickler. That’s right. Crazy Town USA: Albemarle, N.C.

With anger in her voice, a drawl that makes all Southerners sound like idiots and a spelling explanation for the Brit, DeAnna (with a capital A, puhlease) sang Reba McEntire’s “Fancy.”

It was painful but totally entertaining.

Numbers for Tuesday night’s episode of Idol were down by 10 percent from last year, which is an improvement from last week, actually. However, the first three episodes of Season 7 hadn’t been worth the buzz.

Wednesday night’s stop in Charleston was.

Why? Geez, we’re just looking for some entertainment before the competition heats up, and while the stories of mothers having babies and fathers dying of cancer are touching, we would prefer watching crazies like Michelle and Jeffrey Lampkin.

By the looks of it, Jeffrey was going to be one of Idol’s all-time greatest rejects. First, he was huge, making Ruben Studdard look like a swimwear model. Second, he wore a purplish, pink tie around his head. Third, he behaved as if he were mad. Loony.

The 24-year-old brought his 26-year-old sister in for an audition, and they sang an R. Kelly, Celine Dion duet called, “I’m Your Angel,” and stunner upon stunners: The fat man could sing.

Now, let’s not get our drawers in a wad. Jeffrey wasn’t brilliant, but there was potential there, and he’s got a solid vocal instrument. His sister wasn’t really all that but got the sympathy pass to Hollywood.

Can’t split the two of them, Simon Cowell explained.

What has happened to this guy? Has America totally softened him?

My favorite crazy of the night was Amy Flynn, of Tennessee, who told our fair judges that she was part of the STARS (Students Teaching And Respecting Sexuality) Program, which is a codename for an abstinence group.

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

However, like with the 19-year-old who had never even kissed a girl last week, Amy’s prudence came off as half-baked insanity. For anybody who has watched Mandy Moore’s character on the movie, “Saved,” that’s what we got in Amy Flynn.

Socially conservative critics lambasted Idol last week for the show’s decision to poke a little fun, and they will again this week. Nevertheless, Amy was good enough to advance to Hollywood, although Simon noted that one week in Los Angeles will change Amy’s tune regarding abstinence.

Perhaps she can hook up with that little Archuleta boy and get a scandal going.

The best singer of the night was Sullivan’s Island, S.C.-native London Weidberg, who’s father died of cancer three years ago. What struck me about this auditioner is her mother. It’s probably right for a later topic, but the mother said something like: “This has always been London’s dream. It’s what we want for her.”

So, which is it — her dream or your dream, Mom?

There could be an entire realm of sociology devoted to adults who live through kids. Mind you, the 24-year-old isn’t exactly a child anymore, and her vocals were fairly solid on a Billie Holiday tune, which can’t be all bad.

But in terms of actual talent, that was about the best we got all night.

However, the good guy award of the night went to Oliver Highman, who actually left the audition to take his pregnant wife to a hospital when her water broke. I refer to him as a good guy not because he did what he was obligated to do.

If you’ll recall from Season 6, Phil Stacey missed the birth of his child to audition. Sure, Stacey made it to the final 12 last year, but there is something utterly contemptible about that to me. Hey, who am I to judge, right?

However, when Highman returned to the auditions and was surprisingly rejected by Simon, Randy and Paula (didn’t you smell a sympathy trip to Hollywood coming?), the 27-year-old wasn’t bitter.

Instead, he said, “Hey, you want to see my new baby?” That, my friends, is what a new father should be about.

Good father. Good guy. Good episode.