One of the frustrating things about discussing American Idol with other people who watch is that this show makes us all equal relative to technical music criticism.

I struggle to not play the I’m-a-musician-and-you’re-not card.

But I’ll be honest. I don’t think any of the Idol women are worth a damn. There is not one great voice in the bunch, not even the Irish chick (Carly Smithson) upon whom MCA dumped $2.5 million.

Asia’h Epperson, who I like generally, made a costly mistake tonight in singing Eric Carmen’s “All By Myself.”

First, people: Quit calling this Celine’s record. Eric Carmen took it to No. 1, but only after he adapted it from the music of Sergei Rachmaninoff. This is a classic, classic song, derived from a classical piece, and for it to be tainted by the supremely overrated Celine Dion is a shame.

Secondly, people: This song should be retired from Idol history because only one person has done it justice, LaToya London. Not only did she do it justice, she did it better than anybody has ever done it, including Carmen, the hitmaker.

To me, that’s the difference in Idol four years ago and today. The vocal talent just isn’t there today. Season 3 was the real deal. That Jennifer Hudson and London were in the same Top 12 emphasizes how good that season was, and while I preferred Hudson, LaToya was the best singer consistently all season.

Sigh. That’s the way this show goes, but I grow more and more frustrated each week and each season with the degradation in talent. While I know Randy Jackson is a “musician” and Paula Abdul is a “singer,” for the life of me, I can’t figure out how Simon Cowell, the businessman, ended up with the best ear of the three.

I’m being facetious in all but one way. Simon absolutely has the best ear among the judges. Sure, it’s subjective. However, when listening to the dudes last night, it’s clear who the best singer is, by a mile, bar none: David Archuleta. I couldn’t give a deuce less if he wins. I’m not picking up a phone for him. I am telling you, having been an active musician for 30-some-odd years that he has the best pipes of the bunch.

Take that for what it’s worth. Damn, I played that musician card.

I would also say that Chikezie, Robbie Carrico and David Hernandez have potential, adding that Danny Noriega, to me, is a super sleeper. With some work, I think he could be phenomenal. But aside from that observation, musically, it will not only be hard for them to keep up with Archuleta, it will be tougher for them to live up to the history of this show.

There has been only a handful of great male singers on this show, one of which is Clay Aiken, who I can’t stand to listen to, personally, but who I acknowledge has a terrific vocal instrument. Chris Daughtry is another, and he’s Idol’s first legitimate rock star. To be fair, Bo Bice’s voice is actually very solid, too, even though he’s had not nearly the amount of success he had hoped for.

Personally, for me, I’ve always thought Elliott Yamin is the best male singer the show has produced.

But every other guy in every other season of Idol has been average to below average vocally. I mean to the point of downright bad.

Yet the real comparative history all Idol contestants have to battle is that set by the show’s female contestants. And from Kelly Clarkson to Carrie Underwood, to LaToya London and the great Jennifer Hudson, if you can’t do it like they do it, it’s not really even worth discussing.

Archuleta is in the conversation as of now.

But there simply isn’t one female in this bunch even worth whispering about at this point. So, do you want to know who was the best of the bunch tonight?

None of them. Same as last week.

Or perhaps it should be LaToya London, brought back from the Idol dead to do “All By Myself” one more time in hopes of shaming any and all future contestants from even considering it.